How to Make Friends With Benefits Dating Work?
A friends with benefits (FWB) situation can be rewarding when executed thoughtfully. FWB allows for sexual intimacy in the context of a trusting friendship without the pressures of formal dating. However, transitioning a friendship into a FWB arrangement requires proactive communication and boundary-setting to keep things comfortable. Here are some tips to help make friends with benefits dating work:
Discuss Expectations Openly
Before progressing to sexual intimacy, candidly discuss both of your expectations for the FWB relationship. Topics to cover include:
- - Frequency of get-togethers
- - Preferred sexual activities
- - Spending the night preferences
- - Exclusivity preferences
- - Boundaries around dates, vacations, gifts
- - Rules about discussing the FWB with others
- - Handling of potential feelings that arise
Getting clarity around desires and limitations prevents false assumptions. Don't rely on mind-reading. Regular check-ins help keep expectations aligned.
Emphasize the Friendship
Try to preserve regular friendship activities outside the bedroom to strengthen bonding and trust. Go to concerts, try new restaurants, take day trips, bond over hobbies, vent about life, etc. This maintains your connection as true friends, not just sex partners. Prioritize activities you both enjoy.
Respect Each Other's Feelings
FWB relationships still warrant emotional consideration since a friendship is involved. Be patient, honest and tactful when communicating about jealousy, hurt feelings, changing priorities, stressors from other relationships and any discomfort that arises. Listen without judgment. Handle conflict maturely and preserve the friendship first.
Agree on Safer Sex Practices
Have explicit conversations about STI status, testing frequencies, birth control responsibilities (if applicable), and protection preferences. Don't make assumptions. Ensure you align on what safer sex looks like moving forward and revisit the topic occasionally. Protect each other's sexual health.
Keep Things Discreet
Most FWBs prefer keeping their arrangement private to avoid outside opinions complicating matters. Be selective about who knows details and don't display affection publicly that may give away your relationship. However, agree whether you can disclose any information to close confidants.
Set Physical Boundaries
Determine your dos and don'ts around specific sexual activities based on your comfort levels. Communicate any acts you wish to keep off limits or save for an exclusive romantic relationship rather than FWB. Don't feel pressured to do anything you're not enthusiastic about.
Define Your Dynamic
Figure out your preferred mix of sexual and non-sexual activities. Do you want to integrate more traditionally romantic activities into the friendship too? Would you prefer keeping the hangouts distinctly casual and platonic? Defining your dynamic reduces confusion.
Allow Personal Space
While you want to nurture the friendship, be sure to preserve healthy personal boundaries and independence too. You should maintain your own interests, friend groups, family commitments and space outside the FWB relationship. Don't become codependent.
Keep Communication Open
Create an environment where you can discuss any topic openly and honestly, including the FWB relationship itself. Check in about how things are going occasionally. Feelings and needs can evolve over time. Keep lines of communication flowing to stay aligned.
Have Fun!
While FWB requires some rules, don't forget to enjoy the playfulness too! Tease each other, get creative in the bedroom, be affectionate, laugh together and maximize mutual pleasure. Let the friendship ingredients add intimacy to the sexual connection.
End Things Maturely
If the arrangement eventually runs its course, aim to end things with care and preserve the valued friendship if possible. Have an open chat about moving on so there is closure. If friendship continuation is not feasible, be respectful.
Avoid Traditional "Relationship" Signals
While FWBs involve a friendship, it's important to avoid relationship signals that could confuse the casual arrangement. Limit going out just the two of you to clearly date-like activities. Excessive hand holding, cuddling, gifts, and professing affection should be off the table. Meeting each other's families and friends also conveys a serious relationship. Be cognizant of intertwining your lives too much outside the bedroom.
Keep things light by focusing on fun versus romance when spending time together as friends. If deeper feelings arise, have an honest discussion before progressing into dating territory. Keeping romantic signaling minimal helps preserve the lighthearted FWB dynamic.
Respond to Jealousy Thoughtfully
Some jealousy is almost inevitable even in the most mature FWB arrangements. One party may occasionally feel uneasy if their FWB shows interest in someone else. Low-level jealousy is understandable. The trick is responding thoughtfully versus reacting defensively. Have open conversations about any minor jealous feelings that pop up.
Reassure each other that the FWB relationship remains secure and important, even if you have other sexual partners. If jealousy becomes more pronounced, reassess the situation. Perhaps more defined exclusivity expectations or boundaries are needed to get things back on track.
If one friend needs more commitment and the other doesn't, ending the sexual aspect could be required to save the valued friendship. Handled maturely with care for the friendship first, FWBs can work through periods of manageable jealousy. But if it escalates despite best efforts, that likely signifies it's time to redefine the relationship or let it go.
Final words
FWB relationships can enrich both your love life and your social life when handled with care. Defining guidelines from the start and communicating clearly along the way helps friends keep romantic feelings and drama at bay. Prioritize mutual care and have each other's backs as FWB and the experience can be rewarding while it lasts. To get into such an enjoyable relationship, you should start dating on the best friends with benefits dating site.
The key to making any friends with benefits situation work is open communication. Discuss wants, set boundaries, agree on discreteness rules, nurture the friendship, and express any feelings that arise. Having candid, judgment-free conversations about the FWB arrangement itself helps maintain clarity for both parties. Talking through any issues thoughtfully with care for the friendship first also keeps things light. With mutual understanding and care, FWBs can be fun and rewarding. Just don't forget to check in!