Let's Talk About Being Friends with Benefits with a Guy

It can be a lot of liberating fun to start a friends with benefits relationship. The goal of this kind of no strings attached relationship is to be with someone who knows you well enough to protect your feelings while maintaining mutual respect and communication. What does that relationship mean to a guy? It is a chance to build sexual chemistry with someone that they already care for significantly.

But… some guys use the friends with benefits structure for selfish purposes. How can you tell the difference between a genuine connection or a desire for a one night stand?

FWB with a guy

Does the Relationship Feel Like a Forced Connection?

Sexual exploration is often part of an existing friendship. When consenting people have intimate encounters with each other, it can be an enjoyable and thrilling experience. Some people start by having a sexual or romantic relationship with someone that morphs into a friendship where that physical connection remains.

A friends with benefits relationship works when there is an investment on both sides. Without a bond of trust between everyone involved in this connection, there is a foundation of paranoia, concern, or deceit that can interfere with the friendship. A friends with benefits relationship is a mutually understood experience. You may be more compatible sexually than emotionally, so both people accept those circumstances.

Guys see this relationship in the same way that women do – if they don't have a hidden agenda. The goal is to find a connection so that trust and intimacy can form when you're not ready for a full-time committed relationship.

How to Create a Friends with Benefits Relationship with Someone New

The one problem that most people face when looking for a friends with benefits relationship is uncertainty. It is difficult to put an unknown person into a specific box without understanding who they are at a core level.

Asking to be FWB with someone that you don't know well can put a lot of stress into your life. It creates a set of expectations that the other person might not be ready to meet. For some guys, the idea of having a conversation after sex qualifies as a committed relationship, and that sends them running away.

It is confusing to develop a friendship around sex with someone you've recently met because your rule systems get invented as you go. That's why it is critical to set healthy boundaries for yourself before entering into this form of intimacy.

There is a massive difference between uninhibited NSA sex and having no boundaries in place for yourself. The best way to protect yourself in an uncertain situation is to have open communication about these areas with a potential FWB partner first.

1. Consent can be removed at any time.

When you understand your own boundaries and comfort levels, it is easier to communicate what you want and when actions are off-limits. The first rule should always be that you can withdraw consent for the activity for any reason – and everything must stop right then.

2. Use a safe word with your partner.

If you want more freedom to explore, establish a safe word with your friend so that you can stop a specific act that makes you uncomfortable. It is healthy to have clear communication during intimate moments so that everyone can stay safe.

3. Be open about your sexual health.

Being friends doesn't mean that an STI or STD disappears. You should communicate openly about your health status before engaging in some fun. Letting someone know when your last test was is essential information. Guys that aren't willing to share this with you are people you should avoid.

4. Create a body map to talk about what you like.

One of the best moments in a friends with benefits relationship is to explore. Touching, kissing, and licking each area can help each person talk about what they prefer or don't like. This process is another form of communication that helps to build the trust connections needed for a successful relationship.

Friends with benefits can work when each person is willing to put the needs of the other above their own. Guys who are in this relationship for no strings attached sex only are not going to make that effort. By establishing rules like these first, you can find that meaningful connection you want.

by FWBdatingonly