The Proper Way of Breaking Up With Your FWB Over Text
In a traditional relationship it is bad form to break up over a text message. Many people even consider it childish. With that in mind, most of us don't have experience breaking up over text messages. In a friends with benefits relationship you do not have the same in-person connection. It is often considered okay to break up over text messages. So how do we go about breaking up with a FWB over text? Let's take a look at that.
It feels like we shouldn't have to say this but it is important that we be polite when breaking up over text. Just because we aren't able to see the person when we break up over text, doesn't mean the other person doesn't still have feelings. Even if they aren't romantic feelings.
Decide Whether Breaking Up Over Text is Right
There are situations in a FWB relationship where it might not be appropriate to break up over text. A good example of this is when one (or both) of you have developed feelings for each other. Breaking up by text in this case could cause harm, and while you aren't required to take into account their feelings, it is a good thing to do.
We can't tell you every situation where it might not be appropriate to break up over text, that really depends on your friends with benefits relationship. It also depends on whether you have a relationship outside of the FWB, like are you part of the same friend group? Take a few moments to think about whether text is appropriate or not.
At the same time that it might not be appropriate to break up over text, there are plenty of times when it is better. Or safer. For example, if you have a toxic relationship, it is likely better for your mental health to break up over text.
Texting tends to have a less formal air to it. That can be great for being friendly and just having a casual conversation. Breaking up is not the time to start using emojis and unreal words. Writing a couple of sentences to express yourself is a great idea. Don't use emojis and think about what you are writing.
You don't have to avoid contractions or write like you are writing for school. Just pay your FWB partner the respect that they deserve as a human that you are ending a relationship with.
You aren't best friends (in most cases) when you are FWBs, that doesn't mean you haven't learned at least a little bit about your partner. Don't send a generic message, send one that feels personal. Most especially don't copy and paste something that you find on the internet.
Use their name if it fits with the message for that personal touch.
Don't Be Cringe
It is really easy to be cringy when you are using text. You could copy something you saw on Reddit or TikTok and think it's fun. In most cases it isn't as fun as it was when you saw it on the internet. Especially if it has been used a bunch of times before.
Be original, be personal, and be kind.
It is crucial that you be clear with your break up. Use clear language and be clear about your expectations. This is especially true if you do not want any contact in the future. Make it clear that it is all done now if that is what you want.
If the relationship is completely done, something that you might want to consider is blocking your FWB. This is especially true if your relationship was toxic or you are concerned about them not stopping contact.
Keep in mind that blocking someone can make it quite hard if you are in the same friend group or share friends in common.
Take A Moment Before Hitting Send
A good thing to practice when you are sending text messages is to take a moment to read your text. This prevents autocorrect from changing your wording and from typos making it through. In general these aren't bad but in a break up they can make the situation much more difficult.
You aren't reading a novel so it should only take seconds to read the text a couple of times.
Breaking up over text messages in a friends with benefits relationship is often fine. You aren't actually breaking up, you are stopping your benefits. There is nothing that says you can't still be friends after that, as long as that is within your relationship's parameters or both parties agree on it. Don't be afraid to break up a conversation if you so want to. At the same time, you don't have to.