FWB Tips For Staying Friends With Benefits With Your Ex
While this is a slippery slope to go on if you play your cards just right this might work. Just because you have broken up with your ex doesn't mean your feelings are all suddenly gone. You may still be physically attracted to them and keep that part instead of investing emotionally.
This physical attraction may make you both wonder if you can be friends with benefits with them. The romantic and emotional part didn't work so why not just keep it casual and physical? But the real question is that does it work?
Well, it can work but do remember it is not easy. However, before deciding to stay friends with benefits with your ex here are a few rules you should keep in mind.
Keep The Past In The Past
There is no need to bring up all the damage that has been done already or old problems that don't matter. If you successfully want to be friends with benefits with your ex then this is the first and most important rule.
Let bygones be bygones and start fresh. This is of course easier said than done but if you just want to keep it physical then the best advice is to talk less and do more.
Set Clear Boundaries
There may still be a residue of feelings involved from the relationship which may create problems. This is why since the beginning it is important to communicate and set boundaries.
Don't go out on dates or spend too much time together or it might lead you two together to date again. If you want to keep it purely physical then keep it to the bedroom and avoid going on dates together or staying more than needed (don't stay the night).
Don't Be Afraid To Meet New People
If you treat it like a relationship that is what is going to become. Remember, no strings attached and so you can keep your options and meet other people as well if you want to.
This goes for them too. If your ex is meeting new people apart from you then don't get angry. Keep your cool and treat it like you would treat any other friends with benefits. You are both free and can date anyone you like.
Don't Have Expectations
Truth is they are not in a relationship with you anymore and they don't owe you anything. Sometimes you may attach some expectations if your FWB is your ex. You may want to spend more time or look for validation from them in some form.
However, now that you are not in a relationship they don't owe you anything. They will not meet any expectations you have so don't expect anything in the first place.
Expectations create complications because they make us feel that the other person is failing to meet the criteria of them we have in our head. This only leads to disappointment, frustration, and relationships being affected.
Don't Spend Time With Your Mutual Friends
Honestly, the best friends with benefits situations are ones that only stay till the bedroom. Involving them with friends again and meeting with other people or in groups is a recipe for disaster.
Your friends may also feel that what you are doing is a slippery slope and disapprove of you being friends with benefits with your ex. You don't need their approval as long as you know what you are doing.
This is why when you are friends with benefits with your ex you should avoid going out together or in groups with each other altogether. It will only lead to more complications.
Keep it Light And Fun
Just go with the flow and enjoy every aspect of your mutual physical attraction. Don't think too much and don't overcomplicate it. Keep it simple and when you are in the bedroom just enjoy each other's body and company.
Communication is important too but set some ground rules beforehand how you are going to communicate about various things. Just remember to not take it too seriously and enjoy the benefits that come with it. After all that is what you signed up for, didn't you?
Final Words
Many people think being FWB with your ex is not a good idea. However, if you follow all these rules then your arrangement can be fruitful. Just remember to toss away all your feelings for them and if you do have feelings for them that are more than just physical then don't engage.
If you don't have any romantic feelings then enjoy the attraction and make the most of your FWB arrangement with your ex. Remember, to treat it like any other friends with benefits arrangement and you will be good to go!